I get by with a little help from my friends. I get high (on life) with a little help from my friends. Gonna try with a little help with my friends. - The Beatles ad lib by yours truly.
I am so fortunate to have you people in my life (yes, you reading this right now). I am surrounded by artist, comedians, scholars, hippies, gypsies, actors, whores, and whatnot. You make me so incredibly happy and you accept me for who I am. Support me in my goals. Tsk, tsk me when I need to be tsk, tsked (which is far more often than I'd like to admit). You folks are the cream of the crop, the cat's pajamas, all that and a bag of chips, and the bee's knees!
To my sisterfried, you are my every, everything. I am so glad we are where we are today. Who knew that two little enemies with not too much in common can be so different, yet so the same. You are my best friend. My little sister. My motivation. I love you whole-heartedly. ARKANSAS and NECK NECK
To Paulito. All I have to say is that I love you. And really, fuck your coach! You are my best friend, well, with a penis. You could have been numero 18, hombre. With yo' 'spic ass. Do me in the pooper, I don't wanna get pregnant. We gots jokes, tons nigga! You motor scootering, old chestnut you!
Peter: Lover, soulmate. Who else would want to buy Brit-Brit with me at midnight? Also, who else enjoys PODO as much as we do, oh and martinis, and scandals! Lover lumps, you minx.You and your fishbowl drinks! RA Sushi. 8 and half. Boys, boys, boys! Our impeccable ORAL skills. Our love is the kind that can last a lifetime, boo!
Karlee, my wife. I am so incredibly in love with you. It's sick. Really, it kind of makes me barf a la "Pukey McPukerson." Who else would I enjoy creative writing hour with, naughty photos in the kitchen, and pop rocks and red bull cola (taste like pure ass)! I love you and would really appreciate it if you would start GIVING A SHIT. Ha! Okay, I gotta go poop now! Now go dance in your leopard print panties... where's the beef?
Kristi "Big Boobs": I love you, ALLLL-RIGGGHT. You have such an amazing spirit. Really, you are so fun loving and have such a big heart. I enjoy your idealistic, romanticism. I love that our cats are BFFs, too! Really, Godzirrrra? Tonka Dick? and now, MAGNIUM. We are too fun!
WHORE POSSE: Y'all are my ROW DOGS. We have such an insane amount of fun! We are so eclectic and let me tell you this, we are freakin' whores galores! Let me break it down.
- Cherice – You may not know this, but you are our fearless leader, mostly because you are the purest. I love how loyal you are and I also love that you are a racist, white bread, eh… I read between the lines. Also, your place is HQ. I simply adore you (aka I am IN LOVE with YOU). SEGUE.
- Tam-a-lam-a-bing-bang: Your ass makes me wet. I love it. I love how we can have breakfast for 4 hours and then we can probably order lunch and not look like heifers. I am really glad you didn't turn out to be a cunt. Ha. You have an amazing fighter in love with you and I also fear your fire - Incredible Hulk ain't go shit on you!
- Mags: You are a whore, 'nough said. Thanks for never judging and all the late night fistin'. Mama likes. I love the ungoing number joke, although we have both been stagnant on our magical number for sometime now. Te mato!
- Mart-itty: I am jealous of your rack and I am sleeping with your boyfriend, I mean, uhh… I really like your hair. Whores of a feather, flock to cock. I love you and Tom. Just kidding about sleeping with him… or am I?
- Christiney: I love that you love sushi. Really. I love it. You are so fun and thank you for answering my "GINGER – FRECKLE" question. Way to take one for the team. Your giggle is so god damn cute, I can't get over it. You also have a nice rack!
- Robby: Thanks for putting up with our malarkey!You are indeed half man, half horse.
- James: I will cut your red-headed ass. I am gangsta, fo' sho.
- Lee-sa, newest edition: Welcome to the WP, you slut. Ha! You really have a kickin' body, someday you will share it with me. It's part of initiation. Everyone does me, I mean, it. Ya.
- Lastly, to Gen, our Canadian. Boo, you whore. Chillin' in sunny/rainy Florida! I miss you. You love politics and enjoy my political point of views. I wish you were here for Boxing Day. I think we may be the only people in WP who know what Boxing day is; and no it doesn't involve De La Joya!
Mavy: Uh, I love you wifey. Come over here and love my unBoston and unNew England ass. You are the love of my life and I know you will CUT. A. BITCH. for me. You are wonderful and I love your guts!
Hollywood: Erin, just know I love you BETTER. Pedis. Great Harvest. Someday you will be a fat ass and end up on the Biggest Loser. You have a dream and I am there to help you eat cheesecake or to pick your drunk ass up from Blue Martini at 4 AM. You will always be my lovebug, mush mush moster. I relish the fact that I was the first girl you ever kissed… someday we will be full blown lesbians once we get over all of our "crushes."
Ali Fiala: Bia, I love you. We are the sole survivors of the *MK, even if you aren't rockin' that fashion mullet. I miss haircuts with trash bags. Cigarette mics. Jersey-bucks! I love our long emails about nothing and everything. Just remember, mama loves you!
Stephanie: My barista sister, pen pal! You are the most considerate and the nicest person I know you. You have a glow about you. You are Charlotte from Sex and the City. I love how you write and I love that you call everyone friend (either that or it is a clever ruse to never learn someone's name)! You are my long distance BFF.
April Marie Fredericks: Who else would I have a matching tattoo with? You are my oldest and dearest friend! I love you forever. Please give consideration to the "Te Gusta Perro Caca?" stick figure dog tattoo, it's kind of brilliant. You and Man Hands are so freakin' boss! I wanna eat you up!
Natalie Ray: Soul sista from another mista! I love you. We've been through some bullshit, but we still have each other. No mas DJ Hurricane. I will always be DJ L.A.M.E. and you will always be DJ Dibbles! I love eating sushi with you (everyday you are in town) and how you shop til you drop! Someday I will make my migration to Seattle… and we will live happily ever after.
Javi: You is my baby daddy. My deck. I know that the current economy is shit and that they Wynn is shit (they can't even spell WIN correctly), but you still owe me the fuckin' surf and turf… LOBBBSTTTAAAAHHH. Done and done. Let's go see Mandy Moore again, but this time not break any laws!
Kelly: Stop thinkin' I am mad at you if you aren't on my top 192147 on myspace. It's just myspace and I love you. I love your spirit and how understanding you are. You always have something nice to say (she has a kind face, the kind you want to smash). I love that I got you in to the hoyty toyty complex and that you discovered the amazingness of sangria with me. We will ALWAYS hold Larry's Villa near and dear.
Amberguesa: You probably are the most random person I know. You always pop up at the most interesting time and you named your dog Hannah Montana and swear up and down it isn't after Miley Cyrus! I love that I can help you with grammar and it only annoys me slightly that you spell dude, "dood." Haha. Thanks for my new found love of country music and for my fear of artificial sweetener; diet coke and I are broken up forever because of you!
Angela: You love my pussy, Deanzo. You love postsecret. You call me your pseudo-counselor. I love the beginning to this new friendship we've created! I can tell it's gonna be a good one. You have such good vibes, I will help you find Omar/Owen... no worries.
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