When I think about it...

I really don't miss you.

Or the drama.

Or the bullshit.

Or the unneccessary stress.

Or the "forced" acceptance.

Or the walking on eggshells.

Or the gossiping.

Or the same old, same old.

I think the best advice I could give you is to stop living in a dream world and go to Wal-Mart and buy a personality. You're fake and sad and pathetic.

Shift it

I rarely use blogspot anymore.

I've converted to Tumblr.

I am sure I will update here, but the majority of my posts will be on Tumblr.

This is the URL: http://iheartbeans.tumblr.com/

Cupcakes and Kittens,

Jessica

Reduce. Reuse. Recycle.

This is my new mantra. Not only is it good for the World, it's good for me on a personal level.

Reduce:

negativity in all aspects of life. Actions, thoughts, words, speaking. It's useless.

Reuse:

friends and family. This is my core. My rocks. My solid and my everything. I fall guilty of the "out of sight out of mind: nonsense. I always feel the need to meet new people and have new adventures. I need to focus on the people I have in my life and reinforce and strengthen those relationships.

Recycle:

emotions and memories. Things in life are in a constant state of flux. You cannot control your thoughts, but you can control your behavior and how you will react. Remember the good times when the bad times are present.

This is my current action plan. Reduce. Reuse. Recycle.

To a better today and a brighter tomorrow.

"And it's never too late to start the day over
It's never too late to pick up the phone
(pick up the phone and call me)
It's never too late to lay your head down on my shoulders
It's never too late to come on home,
come on home." -Michael Franti

September 2K10.

Two Gold Stars.
Birth Month.
Mistakes.
Estrangement.
Rashness.
Piano Bar.
Hospitalization.
Young Lover.
LVAC.
Activia.
Random Encounters.
Ridiculousness.
Bollocks.
Astroglide.
$2 Coronas.
Bachi Burger.
Paino Bar.
Fame.
Teenage Dream.
Circle the Drain.
Pizza the Hut.
Stalking.


And we're not even halfway there... Let's the adventures continue!

My "so-called" Life

I feel like the life in me has been sucked out.
I'm not happy. If anything, I am more apathetic.
I am discontent and restless.
I feel like my life needs to change.
I feel like stirring the pot and I have, but that's only left me feeling more apathetic and has alienated me even further... It's a giant cycle of FUCKED UP.

I feel too old to be going through a quarter-life crisis, but maybe that is what your 20s is all about. Major, major fucking up. There are two things I am really good at: school and fucking "good things" up.

I just don't want to be second best. I don't want to be an excuse, a justification, a reason, I just want to be wanted and needed and understood and loved and happy. I don't think that is too much to ask for.

I don't feel like I belong. I feel that people judge me without knowing the real me. I feel like people only like the funny, happy, silly Jessica. No one likes the dark, scared, weak, sad Jessica.

Sometimes I feel like I am two very different people. Most of the time, we'll say about 85% of the time I feel happy, loved, accepted, needed, wanted, and overall content with myself and life. The other 15% I feel horrible and sad and moody and ugly and gross and every other self-limiting belief one can have.

People like bright, happy, perky Jessica. No one can deal or handle or understand dark, gross, ugly Jessica. I don't even fully understand her... She's a part of me, but a part of me that scares me and freaks me out. She's the part of me that thinks those dark, disgusting, scary thoughts.

I feel like I am crazy. I wish I had a therapist. Someone to speak to about this... nonsense, craziness, chaos that is affecting me...

I just feel so alone and jaded and sad.

Here's to a better tomorrow...

Inspiration

I am all about positivity and the hope for tomorrow. I believe that what you put out into the universe will come back to you. Ask for it and it is yours. I have a few desires and wants, so I am going to throw them out there.

1. I want an amazing career in either marketing, advertising, or public relations.
2. I want to fall crazy, insanely, madly in love with a warm, funny, friendly, cute guy. For real. I want it to be reciprocated. Unconditional, pure love.
3. I want to make enough money so I will never have to do without the basic needs. I want to make enough so I can travel and see the world and enjoy shopping and eating at expensive restaurants.
4. I want to be happy.
5. I need to be healthy.
6. I need to keep my gym motivation and healthy eating up!
7. I want to start reading more.

This is what I've been thinking will make me truly happy and enable me to be the best Jessica I can be. <3 Please send your good, positive thoughts to me and I will be sure to do the same!

Namaste.

Workin' on my fitness!

I've hit the gym hardcore. I go 5 times a week. Don't stress, I am not killing myself and I am not being unhealthy either.

I do three Body Pump classes a week (Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday, I do 30-45 minutes of treadmill cardio before each class). On Monday and Friday, I do cardio 30-45 minutes of treadmill work plus abs, I think I am goning to add arms soon, once I am more in shape and can handle the intensity. (FYI: My arms are my least favorite body part...damn you, granny flaps).

I am eating 1500 calories or so a day. I am feeling great. After two weeks on this kick I am already down 9 lbs. I am stoked that I found my motivation again. Hell, if you want something go out and get it.

I was inspired by Losing It With Jillian. I can do this and right now I have nothing, but time on my hands. This is something that makes me feel good. It relieves stress and makes me feel strong and proud.

I want to lose about 50 lbs more, then slow take off the last 30.
I am pretty jazzed about this... Bye-Bye post surgery weight!

On a last and final note, gaining weight is a lot easier and way more enjoyable!

Get on the ball...

I am getting back to what's good for me.
I have reached the point in my life where "Enough is enough."
For the first time in FOREVER I am feeling legitimately hopeful.
I think it takes feeling like complete and utter shit to initiate a change.
I am going to ride this good vibe bus as long as I can.
We all know that I get what I want.
Eye on the prize.
No day but today.
I cannot wait.
The future starts now.

TIME. TO. WORK. IT. OUT.

I crave...

Love.
Passion.
Change.
Cupcakes.
Kittens.
Excitement.
Adventure.
Passion.
Purpose.
Belonging.
Attention.
Laughter.
Belonging.

I just feel so misplaced in my life.
I find myself constantly asking, "Why is this my life?" "How is THIS my life?"
Somewhere I feel I went wrong.
That the karmic circle has dealt me a bad hand to play.
But a circle never ends. It keeps spinning.
It will turn to the good, again.

I just seek security, stability, happiness, wholeness, and purpose.
I feel I am lacking all of these key ingredients in my life.
I want more.
I want to feel like I am a part of something bigger. Something that matters. Something that makes a difference. Something that will feed my soul.

Life is so crazy random. It's a fucking circus. Sometimes I am center ring, other times I am a side show act. We all have our parts, our moments... I want my turn in the sun. I want my spotlight. I want my desires. I want happy.

Belonging.

All my life, as far back as I can remember, I have always felt out of place. Like I don't belong where I am. As I get older, I still feel like the odd man out. I participate in life, I have friends that I love, and I there are things that make me happy, but I still feel awkward, like I don't belong.

I am not tied down to anyone or anything. All I want to do is run far, far away. I want out of my skin, I want out of my body. I want to start over. I want a new life. I want to be so much more than I am. More than I have ever dreamed of becoming.

I hate going out in town and running into people I know. I just want to be. I want to blend in with the masses instead of being a sideshow freak. I always feel like I am a musical monkey here for everyone else's entertainment.

Maybe I haven't defined myself well enough for me. Maybe defining myself is impossible. Maybe, I will always be restless and not content. I know that whatever this is that I am in now, isn't working. I'm far too idle and I am losing my mind.

All I want to do is cry, smash things, and scream. I don't know what I am doing or where I am going. It's scary. Who am I? How does this all exist? How do I change this? Where do I go from here? Where is my happy? When will I find what I am looking for? When will I fit? Where do I belong?

Put your money where your mouth is.

After months and months, fuck it, (who am I kidding) YEARS of hearing and people urging me to, I've FINALLY decided to focus on writing. It's really the only thing that makes me happy. It's something I enjoy, it's challenging, there's a constant change in what I am developing (even this little ditty isn't like the piece before or after it). I don't have a publisher or an editor or a title or any of those other random questions I may be asked. Things will fall into place when the time is right.

Although I am not the greatest writer, I don't think I am awful either. I hope to improve with each and every story I share. AS with anything I pursue, my strongest hope is for this journey to morph me into an even better Jessica. I am constantly evolving. We all are. It's part of the human process.

In closing, I am throwing a shout out to Chelsea Handler. Chelsea, you need to shift it! There's a new mistress of words gunning for your job. And who might that be, prey tell? Oh, that would be me. And I always get what I want.

Now, that I've walked the walk, it's time for me to talk the talk. Time to write!

<3

Lost

No, not the television series; it's how I feel.

I just think at my age, education level, and with my social skills my life would be different. I'd be different. I'd have something to show for it. I don't want to sound entitled, I know you have to work hard and fight for what you want (and believe me I do), but it just seems I've been a ridiculous rut for the past 10 months. A lot has happened and a lot has stayed the same. It's the humdrum of everyday life.

I still don't know what to do or where to go or what I want to be when I grow up. The only thing I can see myself doing is this romanticized version of being a writer. I always have something to say or an opinion about EVERYTHING, so essentially I have a lot of areas in which I can draw from; possibilities, endless. I really could write and write and write forever. I just don't know if anyone besides my friends or family would have any interest in reading anything I wrote. I really want Chelsea Handler's job. Seriously, I'd write books, host a TV show, get up on stage and tell people from my sassy, comical, ridiculous, random point of view.

Sometimes I wish I was brave, could pack up all my necessary belongings (and beings, cannot forget the kitties) and move far, far, far away... And start over, redefine myself, redefine my life, all with a clean state. I know this is just another silly fantasy I have.

I just know that my life is destined to be more than what it is right now. It has to be. I can feel it deep within me. Metaphorically, I feel like an overfilled pot of water. It's all bubbling, things are getting hot, and before too long the water starts to bubble over... that's where I am at. I am at the point where I am on the verge of something... BIG.

And whatever this BIG is, I am not sure what it is, or if it is already staring me in the face, or that if it comes to me, I won't know what to do with it. I guess more than anything, I will quote U2, "And I still haven't found, what I'm looking for..." I don't even know what it is that I am looking for and that in and of it's self is the problem. If you don't know what you are looking for, how can you find it?

Maybe here, as the optimist that I am, I can stumble upon some dumb luck and find some much needed purpose to my life...

Ask me a question, I'll tell you no lies.

Ever been arrested? - No, no, no. I am way too classy for that.

Most hated chore on the household chore list? - Laundry, it needs to do itself. Seriously laundry, if you're listening DO YOURSELF!

Tell me about your first road trip in your first car - Driving from Reno to Vegas during the Nevada Day holiday. I got a speeding ticket. I did however make it to Vegas in 4.5 hours. Fuck that boring ass drive.

In life who has had the most influence on you? - Hmmm, my friends. They have taught me about sisterhood, love, respect, forgiveness, and myself.

What do you consider your greatest achievement? - My Master's degree and my strong friendships.

What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered for after your death? - Making people smile and laugh. Even after I am gone they can smile and laugh at the memories. They'll say, "Oh, that crazy ass bitch."

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? - Welcome to Heaven, and yes there is an endless supply of Cotton Candy here.

Do you have any phobias? - FLYING. Xanax, please!

If you were to perform in the circus, what would you do? - I'd be the bearded lady. My trick would be stroking my sexy beard, which we all know Ke$ha likes! :)

If you could be one kind of beer which one would you be and why? - Framboise, that shit is delicious, purplish-red, fruity, and bubbly. Kinda like me.

If you were a kitchen appliance – what would you be and please make the sound of that appliance? - I'd be the microwave. I am a fan of instant gratification. And I'd beep.

Tell me about a family member you are really proud of. - My sister. The bitch is made of steel. She is a true champion and is going places. She's resilient as all hell too.

Do you have any relatives in jail? - Probably, my whole Mother's side of the family is beyond fucked up.

If you had to, what relative would you lock up in the shed and why? - My grandpa, he's a sick fucking bastard and needs to be kept away from society. Trust me on this.

What did you enjoy about school? - The social aspect of it all. I love, love, love people, gossip, and cute boys. Oh, and I loved being a band geek and theatre kid!

Name 1 thing you miss about being a kid. - Thinking anything and everything was possible.

Who was your enemy or the bully when you were young? - I was the bully; once upon a time, I was a major biotch!

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? - An actress, a model, and a talk show host. Fuckin' Tyra beat me to it. Perhaps I can be here protégé.

When and with whom was your first kiss? - My first real kiss was when I was 15 (Summer of '97), at camp with a boy named Lance, and it was gnarly. Yes, I said GNARLY!

What extremely difficult life situation have you overcome and how did you do it? - From half my organs crapping out, to having my heart smashed, and mistakes I've made, it's hard to pick just one. I will say, that having a positive outlook, amazing friend support, and faith will pull you out of the dark.

What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you? - There are far too many to label one as the most mortifying. I have two poop stories and I was in my 20s when they happened. Oy vey!

Was there ever a time when you were frightened for your life? - See above.(Refresher: half my organs decided they needed to be evacuated from my body.)

Which is the best vacation you’ve ever had? - Family cruises, always a nice, relaxing, exotic time.

Which is the most funniest prank played on you or played by you? - I think when I steal all the Republican political signs from my neighbors lawns and replace them with Democratic candidates. It serves my own liberal agenda.

What is the craziest thing you have ever done? Oh, you'll have to wait for my tell-all book.

List 1 thing you wish you could change about yourself: - My indecisiveness. Sometimes I muddle around making decisions about the most insignificant things.

Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help? - Whore Posse, hands down.

If you could choose, how would you want to die? - Fighting to death! Or rescuing people from a sinking ocean liner.

If you could change the world what would you do? - Create world peace, I know it's clichéd, but it's the truth. There would be no more war. I'm a damn hippie deep down.

Name 1 thing you love about being an adult - Ice Cream for breakfast and Cupcakes for dinner.

Which would you rather have, $50,000 or true love?- True Love. Love is the answer. Love is all you need. Love, love, love, I want your love.

What do you value most in life? - Love. Seriously, it makes everything worthwhile.

If you were one of two people left on this earth, and the other was of the same sex; would you go gay? - No, but I'd hope to find companionship with that person and I'd be open to cuddling.

Do you believe everything happens for a reason? - I think there is a design to the nature of life, but I believe we all have a choice. Life happens and we cannot control it and we must not dwell in it. We can learn from it and move on otherwise we are destined to repeat the same mistakes over and over and over and over again.

What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? - Wow, I don't think it's happened yet. There have been a lot of highs and a lot of lows, but nothing too significant, so I will go with being born. Without being born, I'd just be an unlucky sperm and an unfertilized egg.

What would be your dream job? - Chelsea Handler's gig. Except I'd be funnier and brunette.

Have you ever lived or worked out of the country? - Technically, on vacation I have. :)

If you could have 3 wishes granted, what would they be? -None ya damn business. More sex would probably be one, but that's just me throwing you a bone. Take what you can get. The other two would be blow and a sybian. KIDDING!

If you HAD to change your name, what would you change it to? -Dharma or Dakota, I've always been fond of them.

Name three exotic countries you would like to visit - France, Amsterdam, and Egypt.

When you die - what part of your personality do you want to be remembered for? - My humor.

If you could add a single option to your car, what would you add? - Motha truckin' sunroof. I miss having one.

If you could start your own restaurant, what would it be? - Chick-Fil-A. We need one in Vegas, stat. Or a drive-thru daiquiri shop like we have in Lousy-ana. Maybe a combo of the two.

What goal do you most want to accomplish in your lifetime? - To find true love with someone and die happy and successful.

If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left. -Oh, shit. Knowing me. I'd cry my heart out, pet my cat, and eat lots of cake... all whilst feeling sorry for myself.

If you could go on a road trip with any person (dead or alive), who would you choose and where would you go? - Hmmm, Gerard Butler, we wouldn't get very far because I would ravish him. Road head? Hello, I went there. Have you seen him? He's hot, has an accent, and he's funny. I'll take a double order of that, please and thank you.

What crazy fads were popular when you were a teenager? - Plaid, flannel, baggy jeans, midriffs, starter jackets, AOL, Spice Girls, NSYNC, Boy Meets World, TRL, Dawnson's Creek, and pagers.

Focus

I have set my sights on Zappos.com and I'm ready to aim. I fully intend to work there (and I will). I've applied for any and every position I am qualified for. To take it one step further and to stand out from other applicants, I decided to make a trajectory and put Zappos at the end of my timeline. This is the finished product:




I really wish I had taken a better photo of it, but it is now in the possession of HR at Zappos.com! So, what exactly did I do? I did something kind of ballsy! I took my poster and headed down to Hender-Tucky (where Zappos HQ is located) to introduce myself. I was so incredibly nervous and my anxiety levels were maxed out, so much so that I was physically shaking! But I figured, if you want something, like really, really, really want it, you have to put your neck out and your heart on the line. So I did just that! The benefits outweigh any (if there are any losses, besides being a little bummed about not getting in to Zappos, yet).

The lovely lady at the front desk had a gentleman from HR come down to meet with me. And I believe he really liked it. He actually has the poster (I know I mentioned that already), but he kept it, which I think is an AMAZING sign! Hopefully, I will be hearing back from him soon. I am super excited and extremely hopeful and optimistic about this whole thing! I was told he would call me today, but I haven't heard from him yet. He did give me his number, so I left a message.

I know there is a WIND of change in the air -if you live in the Las Vegas area I am sure you have felt and heard the wind the past few days- cheesy pun intended.

So, hopefully SOON I will be starting a new career and a new chapter in my life and I will be a part of the Zappos Family (or as they call it, a ZAPPONIAN)! I haven't wanted something so bad in so long. I deserve this. And now that you are done reading this, check out www.zappos.com!


XOXOX

AYE, AYE, I!

I am... human and ridiculous and sensitive.


I think... too much and too deeply.


I should... clean, but I think it is the most un-fabulous thing in the world to do.


I dream... that I will be the next Chelsea Handler.


I want... to work at Zappos more than anything in the world!


I know... the difference between to, too, and two.


I don't like... feeling insecure, uncertainty, and waiting around for answers.


I smell... like candy.


I hear... Michael Jackson, I miss him.


I fear... that I will be a failure and will never find real love.


I usually... think the most random thoughts and ramble on and on about them.


I search... using Google and for seashells at the beach.

I miss... how it feels to be 5, the magical feeling of Christmas, and being carefree.


I always... hope for the best.


I regret... some things, but I know going through Hell has made me a stronger, more resilient, and compassionate person.


I wonder... WHAT IF, far too much and how computers and the internet work.


I crave... cupcakes, cheesecake, love, and attention.


I remember... painful mistakes.


I need... to get my sweet cheeks to Europe!


I forget... what it was like being born and almost most of my childhood.


I feel... more deeply than others, I am far more sensitive than I lead on.


I can... cook, I never thought I'd be able to say that!


I can't... believe it's not butter. I can't have kids and it is kind of devastating.


I am happy... reading a book, zoned out, in my own little world, processing my thoughts.

I lose... myself from time to time.


I sing... out loud, in my car, with the windows rolled down.


I listen... to a lot of bubble gum pop.


I shop... for bargains, it is rare I spend more than $30 on a single item.


I eat... a lot. I love food! Get in mah belly!


I love... friends, family, kittens, cupcakes, glitter, sun dresses, coffee, fashion, and the feeling of being needed.

HYSTERECTOMY.

Short hiatus due to another trip to the hospital, my 6th surgery, and the loss of three more organs. When John Mayer wrote "Your Body Is a Wonderland" he wrote it about me. No joke. I am having a rougher recovery than expected. I will update soon. Count on it. My mind is a little too fuzzy for coherent thought and stringing sentences together is a tedious task. I have a lot to report and a lot I need to let out. Soon enough. Thankfully, the Baby Deanzo is keeping my heart happy. Love that furry fella.

XOXOXOX from your Crazy Cat Lady,
Jessica

I can't fight this feeling anymore...

This is a real "quickie" update. I can't fight myself anymore. I am not destined or designed to be a boring, drab, mopey person. I am going to play on the swings, not sit out on the sidelines anymore. Yes, my life might be a fantastic shit-storm and I have a million and a half things to figure out and that I am working on, but I am refocusing my energy on becoming the best Jessica I can be.

The Best Jessica Guidelines:
1. Pray daily.
2. Eat well.
3. Hit the gym at least 3x a week.
4. Spend quality time with family and friends.
5. Read at least 30 minutes a day.
6. Write at least 2x a week.

Before I know it, I will be back on my A-game (which we all know is fierce and fabulous). I will be positive, successful, and remain playful (this is my affirmative prayer). My heart is in the right place, now I need to simply align my mind with my heart's intentions. (It's all about the balance, thank you yet again, Eat Pray Love for your many life lessons).

I promise you all: No more Ms. Grumpy Gills, it's time to reclaim my throne (and tiara) as Princess of Cupcakeland. I look my best in a dress and splashed with glitter.

Namaste-
Jessica

A Letter to Five Year Old Jessica

Me, Easter Egg Dying, 1986

This week on Facebook it's "Retro/Throwback Week." (Who comes up with nonsense and how does it spread so quickly? Anyway, that's beside the point.) What has got me thinking, is looking at all these photos of friends and friends of friends, that if only we knew at the age of 4 or 5, what we would have gone through to get us where we are today, at this exact moment.

What would I tell 4/5 year old Jessica? Of the many triumphs and pleasures and pains she will have in life. To go back to that age again. To be innocent. To get a full do-over...

Little Jessica didn't care about bills, cars, educations, boys, where her next meal was coming from. She didn't care about being fat or thin, being stylish, whether her hair was done or if her "face" was on. She never didn't have anything to wear. She didn't own an iPod, a computer, or flat-screen TV.

How do we get so lost in such irrelevant, trivial, frivolous things? I am guilty of it, too. I want, I want, I want, I want! I sound like that trite, insatiable brat, Veruca Salt. I think this year I am going to stop focuing on what I don't have and what I do desire, and focus more and give thanks to what I do have. So, without further ado, a letter to my magical child...

Dear Five Year Old Jessica,

First and foremost, I love you. You are not perfect. You are going to make a lot of mistakes. Lots of them and some of them you will make over and over and over again. You will have acne and braces in adolescence, but this is temporary, when you are in your mid-twenties you will get compliments on your perfect smile and your flawless skin.

You will move around a lot. You will be devastated when this happens, but it makes you a much more adaptable, socially-skilled person. Thanks to the advent of the internet (God Bless you, Al Gore - who you subsequently will vote for in 2000 and he will lose) you will reconnect with long, lost classmates and friends. You will be eternally grateful for this.

Your love of dresses never goes away. You get weird and want to be rebellious in your teen years and suppress your urge to wear dresses, but your love for them and all things sparkly will come back full force and with a vengeance.

You'll hate cats until you adopt one from a shelter. He will heal your heart a million times over. You'll actually adopt too many (3 to be exact) and be deemed a "crazy cat lady." Oh, and you'll never with the battle with fur, ever.

You will spend way too much time in hospitals. You will have several surgeries. You will lose a few organs. Your medical debt and issues will cause you to stay up late into the night with worry. Tears will stream down and you'll feel like you cannot breath, but it's temporary. You'll think the darkest and grimmest thoughts. You will be fixed and whole again.

You'll be smart. You'll go to college. You'll earn a Bachelors degree and a Masters degree. This will make you very proud and give you bragging rights. You love pop music, you like to dance, even though you are not coordinated and look like you are having a seizure, and you love to sing, even though you'll have a limited vocal range (you will love the Japanese activity "karaoke").

You will have God/Church issues. You don't like being Catholic and you will venture into Agnosticism. Thankfully, through an angel (Cherice), you will find Unity Church and it will change your life in ways you cannot explain. It will make you feel whole and complete. You will be moved with emotion. You will be a better person for being a part of this community. You will regain your faith in yourself, love, life, humanity, and God. Your feeling of being defective will melt away. You will be transformed and will never be the same again.

You will make people laugh. You are kind of a pervert (ask grandpa, he will tell you what that word means) and you have a potty mouth. You have opinions and you are loud, but people will love you for that because that is who you are. You are their loud, funny, crazy, smart, pretty, ridiculous friend.

Never, ever forget that you are loved. You go through times when life is painful, heartbreaking, and sad. This is when you withdraw from the world, ignore your cell phone (you'll learn about those in an episode of Saved By The Bell), and shut out the people you need most. This is when you have to reach out your hand. This is when you need not withdraw. You need to put your trust/commitment issues aside. You have so many friends scattered all over the place. You are so incredibly loved and liked that you will be considered "Vegas-famous." You are so liked that at times you will feel as though you are spreading yourself thin.

You are meant for big, extraordinary things. Never forget that. Ever. Keep writing. You are great at it. People love to read your words. You express yourself wonderfully. And you will grow up to be the Princess of Cupcakeland.

God Bless You Always,
Older (but perhaps not wiser) Jessica

PS: Lay off the Play-Doh. Yes, it's salty and you like it, but it will give you rotten stomach aches. Also, be nicer to your sister.

2K10 is here!

It's a brand spanking new year. I can still smell the cellophane! This year is full of hope, opportunity, prosperity, and positivity! I can feel it in my bones. Good things are happening.


God bless you all in this new year! I know it will. Smiles and glitter and cupcakes!

XOXO-
Jessica