Oh the flu, it came out of nowhere... it started out as minor muscle aches and a twitch in my throat, and then took a turn for the worse, but alas I woke up (barely) feeling like I had been hit by a truck Friday morning. It took me awhile to pry myself out of bed, and when I finally was up, I didn't even attempt to put myself together.
I arrived at work 30 minutes late and left about an hour later. I felt like hell and it was obvious. I love being asked, "oh, what's wrong with you?" To which I answered, "I think I have the flu." Each person backing away from and reaching Lysol wipes once my response was uttered. I love feeling like an infectious disease. I was going to try and suffer through the next hour or so my office was open, but it didn't happen. I wasn't man enough to endure it.
When I am sick, I am ridiculous. More ridiculous than usual, may I add. I can't function. I am a hot, hot mess. So, yesterday leaving work (which is in North Las Vegas) and getting home (which is remotely in the Mountain's Edge area) felt like forever (it takes about 30 minutes without traffic), I walked upstairs and went into a coma.
I woke up feeling like hell... it was worse. All I did was sleep. I went to bed at 8:30 the night before. All I did was sleep and I hate it (it has to do with being unproductive). So, last night about 9:30 PM I woke up, I decided to take a shower and head out to get drugs... who goes out of the house at 10 PM (at this point) with the flu and a wet head of hair (it was 42 degrees out according to my hi-tech car)? This reiterates the fact that I don't function while I am sick.
To make matters worse, I had to go three (technically, four the Walgreen's on Blue Diamond and Durango is still under construction) different pharmacies to get doped up. Both the CVS and Walgreen's on Warm Springs and Durango closed at 10 PM. I had to drive down to the CVS on Rainbow and Warm Springs, which is 24/7 (which the other two should be as well, this is Vegas, damnit).
So, I hop in to CVS and am on a mission to get on drugs. Except the place is littered with crap, there are all sorts of random goodies in the store: make up, holiday cards, bath room goodies, and several of those "As Seen on TV" products; the drugs I needed were all the way in the back of the store. It's strategic because if spread my coodies all over the pretty things, people will get infected with my coodies and then have to happen upon CVS for their sickness needs. Apparently, I was disoriented cause the CVS dude came up to me and asked if I needed any help. (I may not have mentioned this earlier, but this flu has made me extremely nauseous) Mr. CVS smelt like pure ass-oline aka Marlboro Reds. It took all my will-power to not puke all over the store and him. I grabbed TheraFlu and other assorted goodies and made my way home.
I don't know what exactly in is in that TheraFlu, the TheraFlu Warming Relief, and Vic's VapoRub, but it was a winning combination. I drifted off into a drug induced slumber and awoke this morning only feeling as if I had been hit by a small sedan! I still feel like hell, but am a little more functional and pretending to be coherent enough to write this blog, but nonetheless I am on the downhill slope toward normalcy.
To add to my ridiculousness, there is a Hannah Montana marathon on the Disney Channel, followed by the first two installments of High School Musical. Yes, I am aware that I am well into the latter half of my twenties, I am pushing thirty almost, but I love this crap. It is wholesome, Americana at its finest. Perhaps I enjoy it so much is because every other aspect of my life is so complicated. I like relishing in the in the nothingness of it. No hidden messages, no sustenance, just pure sugar-coated Frosted Flakes and I eat that shit up by the over sized spoonful.
So if anyone needs me, I will be on the couch, in my PJs, sippin' Lemon flavored TheraFlu, cuddling with Deanzo, and watching "crap" TV. God Bless Americana.
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