Once upon a time... No, scratch that, this isn't a fairy tale.
What had happened was... (yeah, that is more like it).
It was a lovely Sunday morning. I was dolled up in my Sunday best. I had a heavy heart and decided to go to church, even though moping in bed felt like all I wanted to do. After church, I asked my girlfriend, "Booty," to drive LARGE and IN-CHARGE MARGE (my SUV) back to headquarters. I bawled to her about my insecurities and heartache. She was very comforting and reassured me that I am truly fabulous.
Once arriving on the scene of headquarters, I was promptly informed that an alien (see also: Canadian who goes by the name of Gen) was mad at me. Said alien, got out of her car. Hands clenched in fist, walked around my car, over to my window, which I had rolled down. She pointed a finger at me and said, "YOU!" Then she popped me square in the jaw, then again in the nose, which immediately started bleeding.
"Booty" decided that we should mud wrestle to handle our differences (she is the fearless leader, after all). We agreed. (We also decided to sell tickets to this event to fund our upcoming trip to Mexico, OLE!) So, we went at it. My wrestle-mania name was Captain Cupcake, Gen was Canadian Fur-eh (get it)! Let's just say it's safe to say, that I am still finding dirt in random places. We wrestled for what seemed to be hours. We laughed, we cried, then we started making out. Yep, we kissed and made up! (Videos will be available for purchase soon, I promise!)
And they all lived happily ever after. True story.
Moral of the story kids: Loose lips sink ships. Also, don't piss Gen off, ever. She will kick your ass. My poor nose will never, ever, be the same again. She has a killer right hook, y'all.
8 comments:
First of all, Gen's name is HANDCUFFS, so maybe you should update this. Also, I love how the story goes from true to OH MY GOD DID THAT REALLY HAPPEN? I'm glad that you didnt need surgery after the beating and you two were able to kiss and make up. Can you believe what talking things out face to face can do for friendships? Imagine if she would have said nothing, wrote an email to you but didnt put your name in in, then you got upset wrote an email to her...
Oh boy that would have been a huge mess and a misunderstanding...
I'm glad were all adults here!!!
(although there mud wrestling, so maybe i should retract that last comment?)
I wanna know the TRUE part and that NOT true part. PLEASE.
Here is the TRUTH Kerry. People talk and everyone gossips. We all know it and we all keep going in circles. WHO gives a shit anymore. Everyone should get over everything and MOVE on. I have.
:)
Oh Jessica, and this circles back to my passive aggressive blog...
fuck it. keep it going.i LOVE blogs about me. im so vain. LOVEs IT.
and u are right.. loose lips sink ships.... and your loose lips sank a friend- ship i had... id rather have the TRUTH anyday. so THANKS.
and i think the moral of the story is... dont talk shit if u cant back it up... so you shouldnt have gotten punched... all u did was ASK someone if what you were told was TRUE? not some big secret like someones bf slept with a hooker...or anything like that...
I'll fucking punch you again bitch! Damn that felt good! FUCK YA! DVDs start at $24.99 or two for $29.99! We will be rich!!
wait wait wait you DID get punched? im out of the circle..can I jump in and get an answer?! shiiit.
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