I hate men: a rant

I hate men. I hate 'em.

Don't get me wrong there are things about dudes/men/guys that I absolutely love:
1. Sex with them
2. How good they smell
3. When they fix thing for me
4. Their air guitar skills (I'm a 90s kid at heart)

I could drone on and on and on about how great men are, but I don't feel the need to. I want to talk about how much I hate them. Deep down, I really do.

Here we go:

I hate how men can disconnect. Us girls, we get hysterical. We cry, we yell, we go ape-shit, we go fucking nuts. Girls dive in deep. We look for deeper meanings in things that have no meaning. Guys are simple. Girls are complicated. Therefore, I hate how simplistic and detached they are. Lucky bastards.

Men don't have periods. Thanks to the advent of prophylactics(in various forms)we women can regulate ourselves and if we are clever enough, take birth control to the point in which we can skip our periods. (I don't know how women do that, I was made to bleed monthly and I'd be paranoid that I was, indeed, knocked up!) Men don't have to worry about getting pregnant. Carry a fetus. Delivering said fetus. They don't have to deal with the havoc that producing and bearing a child (I don't know first hand, but I am assured it does) wrecks on the body. Once again, lucky bastards.

Thus far, it seems that I am jealous of men. Let me assure you, I hate them. I have seen almost every woman in my life get mucked over by men. They have been lied to, cheated on, they've been played with emotionally, they've had their girlfriends steal in a swoop them, or worse yet, they have ruined friendship (most often temporarily) amongst women (when your friends don't like your guy, your guy doesn't like your friends, you dated a guy and your friend dates him soon after you break up, etc.).

Yes, this is making women victim-y and whatnot, but women and men are ruled by very different things. Women are emotional/feeling beings, whereas men are practical/logical beings. What makes me hate men so much is that women feel as if they are victims. I am guilty of this, too. When I dig a guy, I get tunnel vision. He becomes the only logical/possible mate. Red flags go up and, yet, we ignore them. Instead, we should be saying, I deserve better than this. I am better than this. A man cheats on you. He keeps it hidden. You end up finding out about it on your own accord. You stay together. Although your relationship completely tainted and the trust that you once had, will never be replaced or regained. How can you fully trust someone who easily deviated from you and tried to hide it from you? The man who walks out on you one day and refuses to tell you why. Why do you want to be with someone who doesn't have the courage to be honest with you about how he is unhappy or upset or that he is even thinking of leaving? What about the guy that cannot make up his mind about you. One minute he's hot, then next minute he's cold. If he's that INDECISIVE about you, what else in his life is he indecisive about?

It kills me to see that "men" go around having such blatant disrespect and disregard for the women they claim to love the most. I honestly think that if you get married before the age of 26 you are fucked, royally.

Your 20s should be a time of exploration. Seeing the world. Dating various types of men. Sleeping with a few of them, too. It should be a time in which you develop relationships with both men and women that are strictly platonic. What happens instead is that at the age of 18-22, we think we know everything. Shit, at 22, I was hoping to get married, pop out ninos, and settle into life as a house mom. If you know anything about me and who I am today, all three of those options are grossly unattractive to me. Marriage, no thanks. Kids, I'd be the first in line to "clean the litter box," and stay-at-home Mom, I'd sooner DIE!

Our 20s mold us, change us, define us. Woman, especially in our Western Culture have been raised to become Moms. Think about it, little girls favorite toys: BABY DOLLS and EASY BAKE OVENS. Men, at the same time, are raised with toys. These simple things help define our gender roles and what is appropriate for boys and girls. I just feel that women get so caught up in men and boys way too soon. I don't know anyone who has gotten married young and not found themselves wondering, "what if?" You shouldn't have to wonder. You should take time to develop you and understand your own independence before you get strung up with someone and even consider sharing the rest of your life together.

I think women think that finding a guy is, like, the hardest thing, ever. It is, it ABSOLUTELY is. But why should you (or anyone for that matter) settle for less, for second best. You have to be picky. There are the preliminary criteria that has to match up, then compatibility comes into play (on various levels), and lastly, you have to decided whether or not you cannot tolerate so and so's bullshit. (This may appear to be negative, it isn't meant to be.) Say, Joe (the guy you are dating) has a really annoying laugh (I know, petty, but hey, it's a valid point) you have two options: Suck it up or lump it. Are you willing to deal with that annoying laugh or is it a deal breaker? Something that simple can be a deal breaker.

I know I sound really bitter, but it's not so much bitter, but more frustration. I wish things were simple. I wish women didn't over think. I wish men were a little more aware of their feelings. In a perfect world this would all exist, right? I want it to, too. There is so much good and awesome in the world. Experience it. Now, in our 20s (especially the early 20s) is the time to be selfish and get in touch with you. Don't take things too seriously. Working for a living isn't fun. Relish college. Relish the crap jobs you have in order to get by.

I guess to wrap this all up because I don't really know what direction to take this in and where to go with it, I've stated what needs to be stated. So, here's a Madonna lyric (in true GAY MAN fashion), "Don't go for second best, baby, put your love to the test, you know, you got to, make him express how he feels, cause baby, then you'll know your love is real." Lastly, remember this: ALL WOMEN are CRAZY and ALL MEN are ASSHOLES. Bottom line. Once you have embraced that statement figuring out this GIRL vs. BOY thing becomes a piece of cake.