MOM BLOGS!

Fact: I like to read strangers' blogs.

There are some interesting writings out there. Some that make me laugh and cry and feel every other emotion under the sun. I appreciate a different outlook on the world and reading people's semi-guarded thoughts.

BUT and I mean that as a BIG, BIG BUT: There are A LOT I have stumbled upon that are from the stay at home mom-type, gushing over their child(ren), excessively; and I find it disturbing. I guess these particular blogs are out there to let family and friends know the day-to-day happenings (especially those friends and families that are in far off, distant lands). It's like these women (I haven't found one run by a man, yet) have nothing better to do than post their offspring all over the god forsaken internet and broadcast their "bundle of joy's" first fart, first finger painting, first solid food. Good grief. Your children, when the grow up (especially during their teen years) they will resent you for posting photos of them sitting on their Play-Skool "big girl" toilet. Trust me, they will want to cut you.

There are some Moms, however, who have children that have special needs and I absolutely love reading about their loin fruits, not because they are special, but because these are kids that have to fight to feel happy, that deal with great amounts of pain daily, these kids are innocents. One of the Moms even talks about how people stare at her child as if he were a mutant. Sometimes, we all take advantage of how normal we look or appear to be. I get moved from reading about the little girl who has down syndrome and is making strides everyday, that uplifts me, when that 5 year old triumphs, I triumph and my cold, black heart gets a little less cold. Or the mother who's daughter has a rare and fatal condition. I thrive on these blogs, I celebrate the milestones these children are making. These anonymous stranger posts let me catch a glimpse of a side of life I will never know.

I keep waiting for my "maternal instinct" to kick in, but I don't want to reproduce, ever and I think my biological clock came with fine print: batteries not included. (And I am not searching for batteries either - unless they go into something that buzzes, ya know.) I have my Baby Deanzo and he means the world to me, but you don't see me plastering my page with his little mug. I am sure y'all would just love to see Deanzo popping a squat in his litter box with that concentrated face he makes. (Just thinking about him doing this makes my insides burst with glitterly laughs!)

I hate that I am sounding so negative right now, I am not meaning to. I want to read people's opinions. I want to see their thoughts on anything, not about "Baby Boy Jr." and his first steps and how the whole family happened to be there and they all clapped and were excited and made a cake in the shape of shoes to celebrate. Tell me about the cake, and how you made it look like a shoe, what kind of shoe was it? A Prada? A stark white Ked, with a trademark blue label!

First it was Mom Jeans, now it is Mom Blogs! Maybe I am just bitter these bitches (yes, I called YOUR MOM a bitch) get to stay at home all day and write. Maybe I should go get a sugar daddy and get knocked up so I can fill the world with even more of my ridiculous ramblings.