My Circle.

I just realized, I never really write about what is going on in my head. My inner turmoil. My weirdness. My own personal craziness.

The reasons why, this is a public blog and anyone can access it. Also, I have my own insecurities and secrets that I chose to keep. Lastly, because I don't think that's what the purpose of my blogging is. I think my purpose is to share the nonsense of my life. The extraordinary things, not the inner workings of my madness. Twice as much, I like to make people laugh and feel good. I never want to make people sad or feel like shit; it's just not my style.

I also think that my inner thoughts and my feelings are personal, really personal. And not meant to be shared with the world. I really am reluctant to share a lot of me with a lot of people. As much as I am personable and as much as I love people and I appreciate them and their life experiences, I am not one that is too apt to share my life stories.

This stems from me opening up to people and getting burned by them pretty badly. When I share what is going on in my head and my heart, it makes me feel instantly closer to you. I've let down my wall and let you see a real piece of me. The Jessica that isn't all glittery-goodness and crass, but the deep thinker, the Jessica that really matters. I don't like feeling too close to people I don't fully trust. Most of you will know when this happens, you'll say something to the effect of, "this is a side of Jessica I have never seen before" or you will at least think that sentiment.

Yes, I am someone who knows a lot people, but I don't trust every person fully. There are people that I trust and even fewer people I don't have to tone-down myself down with. People are so judgmental. The worst thing in the world is to bear your soul to someone to have them put you down for it, run their mouths about it, or use it against you in the future. All of which, I have experienced firsthand, as have most people. I am a fairly open person, most things in life are taken way too seriously.

Please note that if you have seen the meltdowns, you know my fears, you have seen me cry (at something other than the news or movies), if I call you, if I text you for no apparent reason, if I ask for your advice, if I try to set time for us to get together, know that you are golden or at least on your way there.