I am going to write a book. It won't be a lame ass novel or an autobiography (that will come after I am REALLY famous, not just "VEGAS FAMOUS"); I want to write a collection of short stories, a compilation of some of the ridiculous events that have occurred in my life. You all know the "I cussed an old lady story," my storied will be along the same lines (experience-wise) as that.
After I graduate, I am going to spend a lot of quality with my laptop (and a lot less time looking at porn) rehashing some of my most random and hysterical shenanigans. We all know I deliver in that department.
For example, my latest NINJA mission was seeking revenge on my ghetto-unfabulous neighbors. Awhile ago, I wrote about these bastards and how gross and vile they are. These fuckwads BBQ in their front yard (they did it ALL winter long); well, let's just say that their BBQ is now M.I.A. This story, which I know has you all at the edge of your seat, will most likely end up in a leather bound, first edition.
Let's just say, I am really excited about this concept and I have the masses telling me that they love to read what I write. Who knows, if this whole "book" thing plays out as well as I hope it does, then maybe I can just be a freelance writer... and travel and go out and about and create even more ridiculousness. "Jessica Does Dallas," coming soon to a theatre near you... So, Dave Sedaris, eat your heart out, there's a new queen of the short story.
2 comments:
I think it's brilliant.
You need to do that! I would be first in line to buy it - but only if you sign it first! ;-)
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