Sometimes saying what needs to be said, is one of the hardest things we will ever have to do in our lives. Telling a boss you are resigning, to telling a girlfriend that she's in love with a complete douche bag, to telling your partner of your infidelity, to telling someone that they have broccoli in their teeth.
Our words are one of the only things in this life that we truly own. Our voice is our power. You hear the phrase "talk is cheap" constantly and frankly that phrase pisses me off. Yes, there are people out there that who will whisper sweet nothings to you and turn around and act in a way that is completely hypocritical to what was just stated. There are those people who will blow wind up your hiney; it's nice every once in a while and it is slightly amusing!
However, when you are gathered with your girlfriends, your man friends, your family, or that rare encounter with a total stranger and that exchange of words happens and ideas flow and emotions are evoked (good OR bad)... you have "expensive" talk. Talk that stays with you. Talk that you remember, that made an impression in your life, that changed you in a way, made you think differently about the world or people. Remember this can be GOOD or BAD.
Sometimes, our words aren't chosen so wisely. Sometimes in fits of anger, rage, and hurt we say things that we immediately regret. Sometimes we never say what we need to say. Sometimes we hold it in and let it eat at us.
Tonight, I was having a late night dinner with some very good friends of mine and we were discussing things about people in our lives and situations that we are currently involved in. One of the items brought up was about words. When a friend tells you something that you don't necessarily want to hear, but they tell you... think about what they are telling you and why. Why?
People make statements and they don't realize who these statements will affect and how it will affect them. Me being the ridiculous over-thinker that I am, can look at things in about 10-15 different ways and how people can interpret them. But if the words are coming from a good friend, someone that would kill for you, think about what they are trying to say... they aren't trying to hurt you. It takes a real friend to stand up for what is right, to tell you something that won't make you happy. A real friend won't buy into your bullshit, but rather call you out on it and hold you accountable for your actions.
I guess the point of this is to choose your words wisely. But also remember that no matter how unpleasant the words of someone else are, investigate why it makes you uncomfortable. It may be that it is something that is striking a cord in you and ringing true. Realize that friends are saying things out of love and that sometimes what they are telling you isn't easy for them to tell you. They may not be delivered eloquently at all times, but as long as your friend isn't saying, "you are a fuckin' cunt piece of shit," they aren't meaning anything other than to offer you their perspective, how they are perceiving the world and your situation (and sometimes it is unsolicited, but something is compelling them to tell you this). You can then take the information and choose to either like it or lump it.
Moral of the story kids, I will let John Mayer sum it up, since he does it so much better than I ever could:
"You'd better know that in the end,
It's better to say too much,
Then never say what you need to say again,
Even if your hands are shaking,
And your faith is broken,
Even as the eyes are closing,
Do it with a heart wide open,
Say what you need to say."
- John Mayer
It's better to say too much,
Then never say what you need to say again,
Even if your hands are shaking,
And your faith is broken,
Even as the eyes are closing,
Do it with a heart wide open,
Say what you need to say."
- John Mayer
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