My Neighbors Are Ghetto

My neighbors are probably the trashiest motherfuckers EVER. I have a list a mile fuckin' long about how much they disgust and annoy me and I don't disgust easily... I am crass and raunchy and vulgar, but I hate living next to them.

So, I am going to write a LIST about these vile people.

1. The first night we (Karlee, Kristi, and myself) stayed in the house, these bastards ding dong ditch us... They were out front drinking beer and chain smoking. No biggie, I too was once 19 years old, I know how it goes. The first time it happened I yelled at them, "just don't touch our god damn door bell." Then, they came over to apologize. I was insulting them left and right and they were oblivious to the entire thing... Then all of their hoodlum friends started to come over, so I had to put them in their place, "stay off our property or I'll call the cops for harassment and trespassing." They went back to their shit hole. Really, I know they are excited to have hot new neighbors, but we aren't party animals. Our house is quiet by 9 PM most nights, we are grown ass women.

2. These fuckers keep their damn trashcans in front of their house by their front door and it's never wrapped up and securely tied in a Hefty Bag. Vegas being windy, that shit blows around, I take whatever nonsense they have and toss it back in their yard. Not only is their trash stored in the front yard, but these fuckers have a BBQ in front of their house, too. REALLY, I kid you not. They grill EVERY damn night... I don't think their stove works! Who the fuck grills in January/ February. Twice as much consuming all that carbon is BAD for you and charcoal is full of chemicals.

3. They party all the time. I don't care. They aren't loud, but having to pick up their trash on a consistent basis is frustrating, but picking up plastic cups with jello shot residue is foul. Not to mention the countless beer cans littering everywhere.

4. Karlee and I once need to borrow to a hammer (we had some hammering to do), so we figured the neighbors get hammered all the time they may let us use theirs. We go over and ring the doorbell, they answer and a fuckin' smoke cloud comes out... it reeks of pot and nicotine... and they had shit stacked literally to their front door.

5. They try to be friendly towards me after I scared the shit out of them. They ask me moronic questions like, "do you hate us?" Of course I fuckin' hate you. Have you seen your house? It looks like hell. We are in February, you took your Christmas lights down a week ago and left them bundled in your front yard. Our HOA does jack shit, either that or these fuckwads are being fined out the wah-zoo.

I know these people are harmless. I know it, but they still annoy me. How do you live like that? How does a rational adult live like that? I don't get it. I am not Susy Homemaker over here, but something has got to fuckin' give. They irritate the shit out of me. One of these days, when they are grilling I am going to steal their fuckin' dinner or I am going to tip their friggin' grill over, hopefully setting their craphole on fire... Nasty asses.