Oh sweet Jesus. I cannot believe I am sitting in my living room reflecting on the year that has just passed. It went by too fast. 2008 is really a blur and when I think about why, it's because this is the first complete year I've allotted myself a job with a routine schedule. I have a weekend job and I am in school. I am always working. This 9 to 5, Monday through Friday, bit has made the weeks fly.
This year I turned 27, which was the first time in my life I realized I am getting older. 30 isn't insanely old, but it's weird to think that 30 is 3 short years away. I am not afraid of it per se I just didn't think I would ever be that age. I tend to think in the now. I've learned to not dwell in the past and the future seems so far away. So the "now" works for me. I think my current situations are perpetual; this is how it is always going to be. Why I do this? I have no idea, especially because I know life changes and curve balls get thrown.
So let's go over the last 12 months …
Work, I have kind of touched on this. Work, I love it and I hate it. I love having money (who doesn't), but good god I don't enjoy putting up with the shit I have to do. But it pays the bills and allows to me live the life that I live. I am still at Starbucks. I've never had a single job this long, ever, but I really, really love it. It's a place that my happy, campy, outgoing, social ass gets to connect with the public! I also love my store, this is my third one, I transfer too much. My old store on Trop and Eastern closed earlier this year during that whole, we're closing 600 stores bit. I am fortunate enough to have a job now and I am even more fortunate to have two of them. Work is great, I cannot wait to graduate and see my options.
School. Ahh, graduate school. This is the most challenging aspect of my life. It makes me laugh, cry, pull out my hair, and stresses me to the max. It is so worth it. I am learning more and more about my character. I am a lot tougher than I ever realized. Fierceness, I am embracing it and I am going to make a stellar CEO someday, you can bank on that.
Love. So, I am still married, legally. This is a whole big area I don't talk about too much. I have way too many opinions on the matter of the heart. I just don't feel like posting my feelings and whatnot for the world to see. I also don't think certain gentlemen would appreciate being written about, this is reserved for my journal and my best, best friends. I will say I've had some cries, some laughs, and over all I am pretty much content with my "love life."
Friends. These are my real loves. I have the most amazing friends a girl could ever dream of. My friends are my life. They are my sanity. My shoulders to cry on, my people to laugh with until we pee our pants! You are my everything. Those who are special to me know who they are. They know how I feel. I try my best to let people know how much I care about them. I check in with people constantly. It takes less than a minute to text, message, or comment someone. It's the little things that we say and do that make others feel special. Maya Angelou states it best, "People will not remember what you said. They will not remember what you did. But they will always remember how you made them feel." I read this on a friend's MySpace page and it is profound and so true. (Sometimes when I reminisce, I will think about certain people and think, that girl was such a bitch; I can't think of specifics, but I can remember the bitchiness.)
Writing. Something I love more than anything is expressing myself. I can go on and on (like the energizer bunny) with my opinions, stories, and experiences. I don't know how people can be bombarded with constant information and not have an opinion here or there. I have taken it upon myself to write more often and I have. I love all the responses I have gotten from people. How they agree or disagree, or how I wrote something and it was exactly what they needed to hear or read. Our words and our voice are our power. I've stated it before and I will state it again, our words and ideas and thoughts are some of the only things we own that people cannot steal from us. My voice is my power. It has the power to communicate ideas, power to affect people's emotions, and the power to make an impact in some way, shape, or form.
My cats. Holy shit. I am madly, deeply in love with Deanzo. Every person that interacts with him loves him and they also threaten to take him away with me. It breaks my heart and also makes my eyes wonder around the room for objects that I can fashion in to shanks. Beans and Zuki are great and they are happy in their new home. They really are so loving and taught me I really am capable of loving so much and that I can indeed sustain life forms that are dependent on me. I love my furry friends and all of my friends' four legged lover muffins, too.
My life is really extraordinary. In the grand scheme of things I am so fortunate and I am in a really great place. I am consistently happy and have gotten more in touch with myself. I am so okay being me, which is something I never thought I would be able to achieve. I am confident and have stopped doubting myself. I realize I am this amazing person that has the world at her fingertips; I just have to reach out and grab it.
The tone of this blog is much more serious than I intended, but I also think it reflects that I have grown up. I mean, I really am getting old. About 2-3 weeks ago, my girlfriends and I went out. My friend did my hair and found my first TWO (yes two of them) gray hairs!
I cannot wait for 2009; it will be another slew of laughter, tragedies, and memories that I will forever cherish.
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