2008 was GREAT!

Oh sweet Jesus. I cannot believe I am sitting in my living room reflecting on the year that has just passed. It went by too fast. 2008 is really a blur and when I think about why, it's because this is the first complete year I've allotted myself a job with a routine schedule. I have a weekend job and I am in school. I am always working. This 9 to 5, Monday through Friday, bit has made the weeks fly.

This year I turned 27, which was the first time in my life I realized I am getting older. 30 isn't insanely old, but it's weird to think that 30 is 3 short years away. I am not afraid of it per se I just didn't think I would ever be that age. I tend to think in the now. I've learned to not dwell in the past and the future seems so far away. So the "now" works for me. I think my current situations are perpetual; this is how it is always going to be. Why I do this? I have no idea, especially because I know life changes and curve balls get thrown.

So let's go over the last 12 months …

Work, I have kind of touched on this. Work, I love it and I hate it. I love having money (who doesn't), but good god I don't enjoy putting up with the shit I have to do. But it pays the bills and allows to me live the life that I live. I am still at Starbucks. I've never had a single job this long, ever, but I really, really love it. It's a place that my happy, campy, outgoing, social ass gets to connect with the public! I also love my store, this is my third one, I transfer too much. My old store on Trop and Eastern closed earlier this year during that whole, we're closing 600 stores bit. I am fortunate enough to have a job now and I am even more fortunate to have two of them. Work is great, I cannot wait to graduate and see my options.

School. Ahh, graduate school. This is the most challenging aspect of my life. It makes me laugh, cry, pull out my hair, and stresses me to the max. It is so worth it. I am learning more and more about my character. I am a lot tougher than I ever realized. Fierceness, I am embracing it and I am going to make a stellar CEO someday, you can bank on that.

Love. So, I am still married, legally. This is a whole big area I don't talk about too much. I have way too many opinions on the matter of the heart. I just don't feel like posting my feelings and whatnot for the world to see. I also don't think certain gentlemen would appreciate being written about, this is reserved for my journal and my best, best friends. I will say I've had some cries, some laughs, and over all I am pretty much content with my "love life."

Friends. These are my real loves. I have the most amazing friends a girl could ever dream of. My friends are my life. They are my sanity. My shoulders to cry on, my people to laugh with until we pee our pants! You are my everything. Those who are special to me know who they are. They know how I feel. I try my best to let people know how much I care about them. I check in with people constantly. It takes less than a minute to text, message, or comment someone. It's the little things that we say and do that make others feel special. Maya Angelou states it best, "People will not remember what you said. They will not remember what you did. But they will always remember how you made them feel." I read this on a friend's MySpace page and it is profound and so true. (Sometimes when I reminisce, I will think about certain people and think, that girl was such a bitch; I can't think of specifics, but I can remember the bitchiness.)

Writing. Something I love more than anything is expressing myself. I can go on and on (like the energizer bunny) with my opinions, stories, and experiences. I don't know how people can be bombarded with constant information and not have an opinion here or there. I have taken it upon myself to write more often and I have. I love all the responses I have gotten from people. How they agree or disagree, or how I wrote something and it was exactly what they needed to hear or read. Our words and our voice are our power. I've stated it before and I will state it again, our words and ideas and thoughts are some of the only things we own that people cannot steal from us. My voice is my power. It has the power to communicate ideas, power to affect people's emotions, and the power to make an impact in some way, shape, or form.

My cats. Holy shit. I am madly, deeply in love with Deanzo. Every person that interacts with him loves him and they also threaten to take him away with me. It breaks my heart and also makes my eyes wonder around the room for objects that I can fashion in to shanks. Beans and Zuki are great and they are happy in their new home. They really are so loving and taught me I really am capable of loving so much and that I can indeed sustain life forms that are dependent on me. I love my furry friends and all of my friends' four legged lover muffins, too.

My life is really extraordinary. In the grand scheme of things I am so fortunate and I am in a really great place. I am consistently happy and have gotten more in touch with myself. I am so okay being me, which is something I never thought I would be able to achieve. I am confident and have stopped doubting myself. I realize I am this amazing person that has the world at her fingertips; I just have to reach out and grab it.

The tone of this blog is much more serious than I intended, but I also think it reflects that I have grown up. I mean, I really am getting old. About 2-3 weeks ago, my girlfriends and I went out. My friend did my hair and found my first TWO (yes two of them) gray hairs!

I cannot wait for 2009; it will be another slew of laughter, tragedies, and memories that I will forever cherish.

Cheers!

Emotions, Men, Relationshits, and Opinions.

I get so emotional baby.

Let me elaborate: Emotions are a many splendid thing. I experience a wide range of them. Kristi explains it the best when she says, "Jessiwhore, you are moody, but not like crazy like you just experience a wide range of moods." It's true. I am the most empathetic mother fucker there ever was. You cry, I cry. Don't even pop in "The Notebook" or "Titanic;" I alone could sink the Titanic with my tears. I think my love of psychology stems from my broad emotional range. Remember that commercial with the guy who cries when the puppies cry? That's me.

In regards to my friends, I don't fuck around. When I say we are thick, we are thick. My family is a mess (whose isn't and I don't feel like broadcasting that nonsense for the world to read, I am saving it for my tell all book), my friends are my extended family. When I love you, I love you for life. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. I can look back and think negatively about people, persons, or situations, but I choose not to. Its life and you learn, constantly. Twice as much, focusing and harboring negative energy makes you a sad sack.

I don't know what it is with men lately, but it seems like EVERY SINGLE ONE of my lady friends is dealing with some sort of male-malarkey. It drives me mad and yet it entertains me ever so much. Relationships (or as I affectionately call the, realtionshits) are complicated. No question about it and no sense in arguing it. You take two people with their own sets of opinions, ideas, and life experiences, then you mesh them together and viola, potential for hot mess.

However, in my 27 and a ¼ year of life, I have had some encounters with the male species. I don't claim to be an expert, but people tend to talk to me about "relationship" issues because I tell it like it is. I enjoy bullshit, don't get me wrong, but when I see a RED FLAG I will let you know. It's just how I roll. I am fierce.

The matter of heart and mind are also complicated. Our heads tell us one thing, yet our hearts give us a completely different signal. They conflict and we are plagued with inner turmoil. My philosophy in this area is simple. It is simply the best advice and works for every situation. "Don't compromise who you are." If something doesn't sit well with you, research why and figure it out. We humans are animals and our animal tendencies will get the best of us (I know mine do, but I am also a fan of complication).

When you have to change who you are, you have an issue. You train people how to treat you. So, if you let your other half hit you per se (and you eventually forgive him/her), you have trained them that it is okay for them to hit you because you forgave them. When you tweak who you are to suit someone else's needs, you fundamentally lose who you are. What happens when you break up? You forget who you are and you feel lost and confused. It is so bogus. Now, I am not saying anything about compromising as a whole. For example, if your man loves sports (which like 75% of them do) you got to roll with the punches and go to that NFL game in San Diego when the Chargers play the Cowboys, it's the only way you'll get him to take you to see, "Hairspray." You work that small shit out and you know, he may end up with his buddies watching that game and you and your ladies will go and catch that show and toss back a martini or two.

I am talking about when you start changing who you are… Your friends will be the first to let you know. I've also learned that if your friends don't like your partner, there are going to be huge issues. Your friends are the people you CHOOSE to associate with. When your friends are having conflicts with your partner, I guarantee you are, too, if you don't see it you are probably floating on DENIAL (leave my lame psychology pun alone).

I don't even recommend getting in to a relationship until you know who you are, which happens in your late 20s for most people. But that is a whole other subject that I will drone on about later.Twice as much I am a stubborn ass. Right now I don't want all that fluff or at least I haven't found someone who's fluff I can tolerate. Someday it will happen, until then I am not going to worry about it nor am I going on the hunt to look for it. What, 50% of marriages end in divorce (personally, I love being a statistic, makes me part of the norm).

This rant has gone off track, I really don't know what point I was trying to make or it's intended direction, but here it is. I just have opinions that seem to work for me. I've been around the block several times and have switched neighborhoods; so sometimes I know a thing or thirty.

Basically, my friends are having "dude" issues, which is something I steer far from. I have my own slew of emotional "hang ups" and why I can't even fathom coupling myself off (I am in the course of making myself legally "single" again).

Okay, I am going to end this because at this point, I am just rambling. My boss would interject with a lovely line of, "keep your responses to me at a 12 word maximum" or "it is a simple, yes or no, answer." Which would inevitably hurt my feelings and I'd cry. Then I'd be back to exactly what started this whole nonsense started.

Whores of a feather flock to cock

I get by with a little help from my friends. I get high (on life) with a little help from my friends. Gonna try with a little help with my friends. - The Beatles ad lib by yours truly.

I am so fortunate to have you people in my life (yes, you reading this right now). I am surrounded by artist, comedians, scholars, hippies, gypsies, actors, whores, and whatnot. You make me so incredibly happy and you accept me for who I am. Support me in my goals. Tsk, tsk me when I need to be tsk, tsked (which is far more often than I'd like to admit). You folks are the cream of the crop, the cat's pajamas, all that and a bag of chips, and the bee's knees!

To my sisterfried, you are my every, everything. I am so glad we are where we are today. Who knew that two little enemies with not too much in common can be so different, yet so the same. You are my best friend. My little sister. My motivation. I love you whole-heartedly. ARKANSAS and NECK NECK

To Paulito. All I have to say is that I love you. And really, fuck your coach! You are my best friend, well, with a penis. You could have been numero 18, hombre. With yo' 'spic ass. Do me in the pooper, I don't wanna get pregnant. We gots jokes, tons nigga! You motor scootering, old chestnut you!

Peter: Lover, soulmate. Who else would want to buy Brit-Brit with me at midnight? Also, who else enjoys PODO as much as we do, oh and martinis, and scandals! Lover lumps, you minx.You and your fishbowl drinks! RA Sushi. 8 and half. Boys, boys, boys! Our impeccable ORAL skills. Our love is the kind that can last a lifetime, boo!

Karlee, my wife. I am so incredibly in love with you. It's sick. Really, it kind of makes me barf a la "Pukey McPukerson." Who else would I enjoy creative writing hour with, naughty photos in the kitchen, and pop rocks and red bull cola (taste like pure ass)! I love you and would really appreciate it if you would start GIVING A SHIT. Ha! Okay, I gotta go poop now! Now go dance in your leopard print panties... where's the beef?

Kristi "Big Boobs": I love you, ALLLL-RIGGGHT. You have such an amazing spirit. Really, you are so fun loving and have such a big heart. I enjoy your idealistic, romanticism. I love that our cats are BFFs, too! Really, Godzirrrra? Tonka Dick? and now, MAGNIUM. We are too fun!

WHORE POSSE: Y'all are my ROW DOGS. We have such an insane amount of fun! We are so eclectic and let me tell you this, we are freakin' whores galores! Let me break it down.

• Cherice – You may not know this, but you are our fearless leader, mostly because you are the purest. I love how loyal you are and I also love that you are a racist, white bread, eh… I read between the lines. Also, your place is HQ. I simply adore you (aka I am IN LOVE with YOU). SEGUE.
• Tam-a-lam-a-bing-bang: Your ass makes me wet. I love it. I love how we can have breakfast for 4 hours and then we can probably order lunch and not look like heifers. I am really glad you didn't turn out to be a cunt. Ha. You have an amazing fighter in love with you and I also fear your fire - Incredible Hulk ain't go shit on you!
• Mags: You are a whore, 'nough said. Thanks for never judging and all the late night fistin'. Mama likes. I love the ungoing number joke, although we have both been stagnant on our magical number for sometime now. Te mato!
• Mart-itty: I am jealous of your rack and I am sleeping with your boyfriend, I mean, uhh… I really like your hair. Whores of a feather, flock to cock. I love you and Tom. Just kidding about sleeping with him… or am I?
• Christiney: I love that you love sushi. Really. I love it. You are so fun and thank you for answering my "GINGER – FRECKLE" question. Way to take one for the team. Your giggle is so god damn cute, I can't get over it. You also have a nice rack!
  
• Robby: Thanks for putting up with our malarkey!You are indeed half man, half horse.
  
• James: I will cut your red-headed ass. I am gangsta, fo' sho.
• Lee-sa, newest edition: Welcome to the WP, you slut. Ha! You really have a kickin' body, someday you will share it with me. It's part of initiation. Everyone does me, I mean, it. Ya.
• Lastly, to Gen, our Canadian. Boo, you whore. Chillin' in sunny/rainy Florida! I miss you. You love politics and enjoy my political point of views. I wish you were here for Boxing Day. I think we may be the only people in WP who know what Boxing day is; and no it doesn't involve De La Joya!

Mavy: Uh, I love you wifey. Come over here and love my unBoston and unNew England ass. You are the love of my life and I know you will CUT. A. BITCH. for me. You are wonderful and I love your guts!

Hollywood: Erin, just know I love you BETTER. Pedis. Great Harvest. Someday you will be a fat ass and end up on the Biggest Loser. You have a dream and I am there to help you eat cheesecake or to pick your drunk ass up from Blue Martini at 4 AM. You will always be my lovebug, mush mush moster. I relish the fact that I was the first girl you ever kissed… someday we will be full blown lesbians once we get over all of our "crushes."

Ali Fiala: Bia, I love you. We are the sole survivors of the *MK, even if you aren't rockin' that fashion mullet. I miss haircuts with trash bags. Cigarette mics. Jersey-bucks! I love our long emails about nothing and everything. Just remember, mama loves you!

Stephanie: My barista sister, pen pal! You are the most considerate and the nicest person I know you. You have a glow about you. You are Charlotte from Sex and the City. I love how you write and I love that you call everyone friend (either that or it is a clever ruse to never learn someone's name)! You are my long distance BFF.

April Marie Fredericks: Who else would I have a matching tattoo with? You are my oldest and dearest friend! I love you forever. Please give consideration to the "Te Gusta Perro Caca?" stick figure dog tattoo, it's kind of brilliant. You and Man Hands are so freakin' boss! I wanna eat you up!

Natalie Ray: Soul sista from another mista! I love you. We've been through some bullshit, but we still have each other. No mas DJ Hurricane. I will always be DJ L.A.M.E. and you will always be DJ Dibbles! I love eating sushi with you (everyday you are in town) and how you shop til you drop! Someday I will make my migration to Seattle… and we will live happily ever after.

Javi: You is my baby daddy. My deck. I know that the current economy is shit and that they Wynn is shit (they can't even spell WIN correctly), but you still owe me the fuckin' surf and turf… LOBBBSTTTAAAAHHH. Done and done. Let's go see Mandy Moore again, but this time not break any laws!

Kelly: Stop thinkin' I am mad at you if you aren't on my top 192147 on myspace. It's just myspace and I love you. I love your spirit and how understanding you are. You always have something nice to say (she has a kind face, the kind you want to smash). I love that I got you in to the hoyty toyty complex and that you discovered the amazingness of sangria with me. We will ALWAYS hold Larry's Villa near and dear.

Amberguesa: You probably are the most random person I know. You always pop up at the most interesting time and you named your dog Hannah Montana and swear up and down it isn't after Miley Cyrus! I love that I can help you with grammar and it only annoys me slightly that you spell dude, "dood." Haha. Thanks for my new found love of country music and for my fear of artificial sweetener; diet coke and I are broken up forever because of you!

Angela: You love my pussy, Deanzo. You love postsecret. You call me your pseudo-counselor. I love the beginning to this new friendship we've created! I can tell it's gonna be a good one. You have such good vibes, I will help you find Omar/Owen... no worries.

I know this list isn't all encompassing. It doesn't mean I don't love you or that I don't like you. Some of you I hate, but I'd rather stay on your "good" side than be on the bad side. Kidding, again. I am incredibly grateful and blessed to have each and every one of you in my life. You make me laugh, some of you make me cry, but you are the glue that holds me together. Orgy please! Muah.